Believe it or not!

The other day I was driving with a friend and the most funny-strange-jaw dropping kind of thing happened. You know how in Chicago the number of homeless people seems to be growing, and then they appear almost in every corner asking for spare change, well that day there was this guy coming from the beginning of the car line (at a stop sign waiting for a green light), and he was limping like he was hurting a lot just from walking not to mention his face (it was like the poor man was going through a lot) I felt I was going to help the guy. Anyway, what got me by surprise is that when he was getting closed to my car the light change to green and guess what??? They guy change his facial expression immediately and starts walking totally normal!! I SAW it with my own (beautiful {LOL just kidding}) eyes, he was like any other guy walking without any trouble and that just got me thinking how tricky some people are. No wonder why I don’t want to give them money anymore…

oh GOD!!

I start this week facing reality once again. I don’t know if you remember when I wrote a while ago about funding and working for non for profit agencies? Well today I was reminded on how frustrating that can be (again). Today we had a meeting that I have to attend every two weeks, and there is always the two-face-unreasonable-bitchy kind of people that attend too. I don’t know what is going to happen with my position at work because I am still waiting for the response of the founders that pay for my position (been waiting for two months already) and every time we call to find an answer we only get the (“we will let you know by the end of next week”) is frustrating. Ok meanwhile I am working in the computer lab, actually putting it together for the community to use. I love computers and working with them, but this was suppose to be a three month project only, now I have the two-face-unreasonable-bitchy kind of people that I told you about, in my behind asking when I am going to start teaching computer classes. I mean ok I know they have to run their programs, but I don’t want to be teaching those classes and work with the two-face-unreasonable-bitchy kind of people because they are really very UNREASONABLE!! Oh god, if I don’t get an answer faster I am going to be obligated to just resign for the computer lab position and just work part-time for the HIV Education program I run. You might think is me who has the problem of working with the two-face-unreasonable-bitchy kind of people but the truth is that I am not the only one and I have a long list of people that have found really difficult to work with this two-face-unreasonable-bitchy kind of people… Anyway wish me a lot of luck!!

Family after all...

After 4 weeks of living with my cousin I though I was going to hate him for the rest of my life. You know, after repeatedly mentioning how fat I was and trying to make me remember I should get on a diet. I was so sure I was going to be happy when the time for him to go back came; but on the contrary, I feel that a part of me is leaving. Not all was fighting and stuff but we also share some moments of crazy happiness telling stories of when we were kids, the kind of music we used to sang, the games we used to play (after all it was 8 years without seeing him), and many more moments we had together. I guess is just a way of the human race to recognize family no matter how different we are from each other, in other words, even if he is freaking driving me crazy with the diet stuff I still love him very much. Now that I face the fact that he is leaving tomorrow I wish I would’ve been just a little bit more tolerant and spend a little more time with him. (I know what you are thinking) “Uno no sabe lo que tiene, hasta que lo ve perdido”, “you never know what you have, until it is no more by your side”. But oh well, I just hope that comes back someday and I know this time I’ll be more tolerant of his ways! :-) Peace…

Losers!!

Ok Susana, we both are big freaking losers as much as one can be. Susy and I made a pact at the beginning of the summer stating that whoever loses more pounds by the end of the summer would be taken to dinner in a not so bad restaurant by the loser. Well that didn’t happen obviously, nor me or her lose weight at all and the first thing I hear from her is “Let’s extend the pact for the end of December instead” (how about that? LOL) that, only reflects the lack of commitment some of us have to a healthier life style…
We are funny though, spending some amount of minutes planning and telling each other the restaurant we want to be taken to. So let me say this, Susy you know I love you babe! But you have to stop telling yourself that tomorrow is the day you start your diet (or how ever you call it) the day is TODAY baby! And me, well I post something related to that before…

Mexican Independence Day...(TODAY)

Ok so I guess I owe to my country a little something for being our independence day. I am proud of being Gayxican (Gay Mexican) oh yes I am, but that doesn’t mean that I am going to lose respect for the flag like a lot of people does these days just because we are in another country. I remember back when I was in Mexico that around this festivity independence day was all about celebrating when we finally got free from the Spanish rule. There was fiesta, balloons, sombreros and rehiletes -shuttlecock, all with the green, white and red, our National Colors. That is the way we celebrated back there, but here (in Chicago) I see lots of cars with multiple flags all over the car (sometimes they are even bigger than the damn car), and kids from high school wearing flags in their pants back-pockets like any other bandana. I truly think that doing that shows how poor educated about our culture these kids are. Anyway, I do what I can I talk to the ones closer to me and show them (with respect) what it really means the MEXICAN INDEPENDENCE DAY! If you want to know more about this Celebration go here: http://www.inside-mexico.com/featureindep.htm
VIVA MEXICO!!

I'm not the only one...

Oh my god! This morning I was a little upset still for the events that have passed to me in the ending week, but to see my friend/coworker surrounded by his only-women-crew driving him crazy (LOL) oh man that made my day! My poor friend was trying to put an idea into their head for a project they are developing for next week and oh man, some of you might have a clue in how hard that is! All I heard was him commenting on what he thought it was a good idea and after that it was only three women speaking loudly at the same time making the office feel like we were in a zoo with a thousand chimps fighting for one banana (Keep it up DUDE! LOL)… Well at least I’m not upset anymore!!...

2 hours DRIVING

Traffic
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In the past 3 weeks (since my cousin from Mexico came) I have been driving my ass a lot through the freaking Chicago traffic. I can’t believe how traumatic that is. I live in the south side of the city, my morning job is all the way in the north side, my evening job is some where in the middle, and my boyfriend lives all the way in the west by O’Hare airport. Now, I offered my self (I know, my fault) to take my cousin all the way to Lombard, IL in the mornings before going to work. It takes me one hour to get there, now from there to my morning job is another hour and that makes a two hour drive. In the afternoon I go to my other job then drive home BUT, if my boyfriend calls, or if I want to see him I have to drive to his home which takes me about 45 minutes… I don’t know where I’m going with this, but I am really frustrated right now and mad for a LOT of things that didn’t work out this week. The driving and spending to much money is driving me crazy, the over weight issue I posted before still bothers me and that’s mainly because the one who makes me remember it, lives with me for the moment, work related stuff, and also really deep struggling and BAD feelings I have inside of me right now, cause by someone I care. Those, are coming out in a not so good kind of way. I’m being nasty, I’m sarcastic, and I’m mad (so what!) There is nothing I can do right now until I find a way to get it out. MAAAAAAAAANNNNN (not everything is perfect)

So, I guess the tittle isn't really 2 hours DRIVING!! right?

MY QUEEN...

My mom!
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Of course I wouldn’t be here without the most wonderful human being in the planet, my creator, my guide, my unconditional support, the one who accepts me the way I am, the only human in this world that would give her own life for mine, my mother, mi mamita bonita! Te adoro mami…

Me Boyfriend!

Rolo & Victor
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To the moments that have change my life drastically in the last three years, to the places I have gone in the last three years, to the people I have meet in the last three years, to the good and the bad that made me grow in the last three years, to the laughs and the tears, to everything I have live in the last three years, for that and more I thank you, and for ever will be thankful, just… like the past three years… I love you!

Susy...

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There is an angel looking out for me out there, he is putting the most precious good hearted people in my way… (Yes susy, I’m talking about you)

My two babies!

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These two girls (Tricia and Zoe) are part of the most important people in my life too, and the list goes on… hehehe I am lucky enough to be surrounded with love people (LOL)

Life...

Some really important people in my life...
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Life is nothing without the companionship of good friends. Life is nothing without people that are there to share important moments in your life, to disagree with you, to support you, to challenge you, to hug you, to smack you, for me, life is nothing without them… MY family and MY friends… I LOVE YOU GUYS!! Daniel, Roro, Janix, and of course, my dear-sweet-caring boyfriend, Victor…

THANK YOU!!!

I didn’t really think I was going to get a lot of responses on my postings, I want to thank you all for being so nice in your comments and for all of the emails you have sent me, I really appreciate it. This blogger website really rocks!
HUGS and keep writing!… :-)

Is it me?

is it me?
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Is it me who is wrong about this? I don’t know if is me or what, but every time an issue comes out at work or something didn’t come out as we expected, I hear these words; is “ALL YOUR FAULT”. I was supposed to form a team of people and raise some money for a good cause. I did get a team, what I didn’t get was enough money. I know it sounds like I didn’t do a good job, BUT, (oh yeah a big but) it was one of my coworkers idea to get the registration money out of the money we get for special events. I agreed that it would be a good idea to just get the money from there, just pay registration and go. Sounds simple right? Well, not as much as I would’ve wanted it to. As soon as I talked to administration about it, they freaked out. The next thing I hear is; “I want you to make me a report why this was not a successful campaign”, “I want you to write down the steps saying why you failed”, and so on. I felt like I did a really bad job, but in the contrary, I have been doing this for the last five years and I know I have a pretty darn idea of what I’m doing. The only thing I’m going to have to do is improve communication with administration and of course plan better for a future event.

Important decisions

thinking
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Well today I have come to see, let me put it in other words I have wakened up to the fact that life for me is changing really rapidly. We have to take important decisions in our lives and depending on those decisions is where we will be standing in the future. (I know I don’t have to tell you this because you already now it) but what if you don’t? What if you think that future for you is going to be always bright and nice? Well in that case then you need an emergency wake up call!! (Hellooooo)
I am reconsidering a change in my career, some of you might know that work in the non for profit world can be a little bit insecure and that’s basically just because most of the money (Funding) comes from the government, Foundations, and donations. The program that I am running at Centro Romero depends 100% of Federal funding. That said I have to deal with the fact that sometimes the money gets cut off and my Full-time employment with them becomes a Part-time position leaving me of course with less money. Please don’t get me wrong, it really is not about the money but the love to the work I do for the community, but money is necessary for the every day life. Besides, paying $45 for gas every 3 or 4 days can be pretty painful. For those of you who don’t know, I run an HIV Education Program for Latinos in the north side of Chicago. Now I am thinking in getting trained, or get some kind of degree or something in computers. I love working with computers and one of my hobbies is building or fixing them. So because I think that the technology field has a better and more secure future it would be a good idea to do it. The next step now is to register for a class and see what options I have… I’ll let you know of updates on this…

You? Fat? Diet?

I have to start doing some of these!
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So, I know I am over weight and I have been struggling with weight for the last few years. When I am learning to deal with it and to accept my self the way I am being in peace with the 60 extra freaking pounds I have in me, guess what? Well my cousin from Mexico who I didn’t see for over 8 years, comes to visit and since the moment he saw me until now all of his conversations have to include the freaking words (you, fat, and diet) die I would say! I am eating healthier, getting an exercise program, and building my inner strength to get in shape A.S.A.P. and is not because of my cousin, but because I want and wanted to since a while back. But I have the confusion of why it bothers me a lot that he is reminding me all the time that I am FAT. He says is some kind of denial from my part but I think he thinks what he is talking about when he doesn’t. Oh well, I just don’t want to be obsessive with the whole weight problem and just live my life better and healthier every day.

29 years old?

Doggie!
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Ok, how does a 29 year old guy has to ask permission to have a pet in his own house???
Well, to know the answer just ask me!! I can’t believe how frustrating can be living in the same house with your parents and have to ask for authorization to have a freaking pet!
I know what you are thinking, 29 years old and still living with his parents??? Well just to let you know, we Mexicans are very family oriented and the reason why I’m still living in the same house is because “we” bought a house last year. I though that by having a house and living in the attic of it I would be able to finally be more independent and be able have a loving caring friend (besides the freaking spiders) a dog or cat. But things can be very, very, veeryyy different than how we planned. Now (more than ever) I’m thinking about moving to another place by my self where I can feel more liberty to make my own decisions. I know what you are thinking (he said that last time!) but this time is for sure. I love my family with all my heart but that’s how life has to be.

The start...

Most recent me!

Ok, so here I am... I think this is going to help me get things that bother me out of my head or simply express whatever I have in mind. I’ve never tried to use writing as a way to express my-self but it could be very useful to actually do it.
Friends get ready to enter my life in a different way…