What a way to finish my week…

It’s been pretty crazy but in a nice way. You know… I am in a place in my life right now, where I feel like everything that happens, good or bad, just makes me stronger and wiser… That said, I feel great, I don’t feel sad anymore and I am having sooo much fun! Like I did not have before, not even when I was in my 20’s… I do what I do without any regrets… I just enjoy it to the fullest.

As many of you know if not all, I am back with Victor, and things are going pretty well. I am really surprised he is being super cool and this time not only as a friend, but also as my boyfriend and partner… I’m glad thins are going the way I thought they should be.

I am super happy I made some awesome new friends along the way of the process of my growth, among them I gotta thank Mark sweet, understandable, and very nice guy. Raul who is super cool, sweet, funny, and smart… Re-connected with friends I thought I lost and now I’m glad I have them back in my life… Roro, Zoe, and Ara thanks a lot! you guys ROCK!

Of course there is also Andrea, she has been rocking my world lately, I don’t know what I would’ve done without all of her unconditional support and trust, always having the right words just when I needed them hehehe and also… told me to live my “EXPLOSION” phase to the max… to which I did… (sigh) good times, life is great guys, let’s try to just make it better by not worrying for things we know are going to go away because we know they can’t be forever, let’s not get stuck on the vicious circle of sadness that wont takes us anywhere but to the same sad point from where we parted… am I making sense? I don’t know I’m just happy…

Ok changing the subject a little…

Last night I went to the movies with my friend Raul and we saw the most hilarious comedy of the year… “Pineapple express” great movie, I was laughing the whole time that I almost peed my pants, and (my BFF) Raul might have had! LOL! JK… I strongly recommend it to you…

Today… well today is Victor and I 6^th year anniversary! Hehehe (minus you know) who cares I got a really nice surprise at work from him.

I was coming back from lunch when I was entering my office all of my female coworkers were there already with a commotion I’ve really never seen before… I asked what’s going on, and as I was getting close to my desk I see this huge “thingy” looking like flowers wrap with some nice paper… I thought it was funny how all where asking at the same time like an “orchestra” of loud-noisy-gossipy-women what is it? Who is it from? And as soon as I opened it and saw the super cool flower arrangement everybody was like “aawww” LOL Imagine that, all I could hear where comments like “OMG my husband doesn’t do that for me” “oh no I am so jealous!” and “I’m calling my man right now!” LOL was really funny… (Viejas chismosas) LOL they wanted to know all of the details…

I gotta say that this is the first time someone do something like this for me, I was embarrassed, didn’t know what to say, and well at the same time I was very happy because I felt really good… I gotta admit it was a pretty nice detail puchix…

Day was over with me super tired of working almost 11 hours but happy and nice hehehe BTW Marissela one of my friends kept checking my ass and man boobs out! Check pics below LOL!

Until next time my bloggers!

I was not kidding when I said they were making a commotion!

Nice!

Don't know why she kept trying to do the breast exam on me!! LOL

see she likes my man boobs! LOL...

I love my friends!! XOXOX

Hello my peeps!

This time news are bad (again) but! There is also something good…

First things first, my house, my home, my sweet little “casa” where you know I love to spend most of my time, got affected by last Monday’s strong storm… Fortunately nothing valuable got damage because I was fortunate enough to have my family and roommate helping me and so the action/reaction was fast and right on time. It was (not at the moment) but now that I think about it “funny” how everybody knew what to do and was working hard and fast to save my stuff… I am glad and thank them with all my heart. In a somehow positive outcome, now I have everything ready to pain my house, something that I’ve been leaving on the side, until now… so if there are any volunteers that would be happy to have a beer and help me paint let me know ;0) hehehe

In other remarks, I am living a very nice situation now, in my personal life. I think it was about time something like that happen. I have been doing a lot of thinking and I believe that everything that happens to me now, its because I really know what I want, and being a little mature than a few years back, has also help me know what way to go and what decisions to make. Like everything else life is hard, but you got to know to trust your instincts and evaluate everything around you.

Everything happens for a reason and going through what I went through just helped me to, gain new friends, discover how good people already knew are, and recover lost friendships. I would say that I gain more than ever, and that is the reason as to why I feel so happy right now, and I’m like always glad to be surrounded with such wonderful friends… I love you all!

XOXOX Peace!

Of course there are pictures :0p hehehe

EVERYTHING got cleaned and disinfected in case you were wondering Hehehe

Finally some FUN!

My friend Adriana and I have been working together for a little over a year now, and last Friday we decided to hang out together (I think for the first time). Last Friday we agreed on going out and talk about our sentimental issues… Anyway I go to her house to pick her up but she was still working in one of her MANY projects and side jobs, we just started talking here and there, drinking here and there hehehe oh! And for the first time I had a Japanese beer… oh yeah!! Hehehe

My friend Adriana working really hard LOL!

Like a lot of you know, I’m not really used to going out late at night and coming back home early in the morning…. Hmm of the next day!... so I got to her house around 9:00 pm but we ended up leaving her house around 11:00 pm by this time her roommate and long time friend Carmen had joined us.

So we started by going to this cool lounge named “Ole”, I must say that I think it’s the first time I go to a straight lounge/bar here in Chicago… little did I know, I really had a good time… straight people are not that bad after all! LOL Just KIDDING! LOL no but really the ambience was nice, and people would just come up to us and talk which was good… I know that me being a little borracho made things a lot better hehehe but anyways was nice…

Japanese beer "Kirin Ichiban"

After staying for over an hour there Carmen then has the great idea of going to another bar and so we decided to go to Spin for a bit… there was more drinking, more talking, and some singing to Madonna tunes hehehe I’m so gay! LOL We knew it was time to leave when they turned the lights on and kind of escorted us to the door… by then we were having such a good time that we then decided to go to Charlie’s… oh ladies and gents… That was the best part of the night! I danced, I sang, I kept dancing, I met all of my (now official) friend’s friends… it was nice… there was also a funny incident there… I was just taking a break from dancing when someone suddenly pulls me to the side and there was this super drunk lady hehehe she starts yelling really out loud… ARE YOU GAY??? And I was like… duh! LOL but I wasn’t mean or anything… and she kept asking are sure you are gay?? So I just started laughing… I told her yeah I am gay, and then she is like NO WAY!!! I cannot believe it you don’t look gay!! I don’t really know why she was so surprised about it but it really was funny the way she was yelling… well at least I thought it was funny… I loved the music they were playing and everything was nice…

Sooo after we decided to leave it was time to get some yummy hot dogs and then home… It was 4:30 am by the time I was parking my car in front of my house hehehe and that’s the story…

It sucks to be me!

What’s going on?? I don’t know… Did I do something terribly wrong in a previous life and now I’m paying back?? I don’t know… but then what??
Last week was hard, with all of the things that are happening in my personal life, and then to that you add the following:

I keep having serious bad arguments with my mother like never before… on one of the arguments we had I felt like I was coming out of the closet AGAIN! Having to explain myself the reason of all my doings, I mean what am I, 13? I know and she keeps saying that she only wants the best for me, but seriously telling me to go back to being unhappy I’m sure it’s not the best… That’s exactly the reason what I decided to leave… I’ve been thinking and trying to make another BIG decision, I’m looking an apartment to move to the north side with a roommate or alone. I don’t know if it’s only me trying to run from all of the problems or I’m just tired of people trying to make things more difficult including my mother who at this moment I know she is against my doing.

I had a flat tire I know it is my fault because I knew that it had a big nail stuck and it keep loosing air pressure… because I didn’t take care soon enough well.. flat tire was the result…

There were some other issues at work about my salary something that also stresses me but I will say more about it on a later time…

I have good friends and I know they are with me… I know I had disagreements with some but I don’t want to loose you, I need you, if sometimes I act stupid (something not to normal on me) it’s only because I don’t know how to react, because I’m trying really hard to be myself again… Saturday was great, got to see a show on Navy Pier and distract myself a little from everything going on, I know it could have been better, but right now I feel that I can’t push my luck…

Sunday morning… good morning and bad news… I was getting ready to go buy groceries for my lunch during the week when I got to my car that was parked not far from my house and to my surprise someone broke my window and stole not only my car stereo, but the panel with the air conditioning system controls. I was kind of shock, pissed, mad, and filled with anger (you get the point)… Of course I had to ask to myself… why me??? Seriously?? should I expect more??… because lately I feel like nothing is going like it is suppose to…

So, did I have a good week? I don’t know… hhmm no? what about the weekend?… yeah for a bit but then back to the same… I’m serious when I say that it sucks to be me right now…

Understanding...

It’s been some time now, I been wanting to write something but every time I start, this pain like stake in my chest appears making my body ache and my face sweat. I don’t know how many times I’ve been trying to release all of the feelings I have inside and cry as never before but it only hurts more. Everyday I ask for forgiveness for every pain I caused, for every misfortune, and for every tear, hoping that sometime soon all is going to come as closer to normal as before, and that we all be smiling again and remembering the good moments and times we had. I’m still in pain, and I’m still suffering but I need to be clear and stand for all of my decisions, I need to feel that I’m still alive, I need to know that I’m made of like every human in the world because for some time... I forgot what it was to feel…

New song of the week...

New comer mexican singer Eiza Gonzalez
song: Lo que no fue no sera (What it never was it never will)

No sabes cuanto llore
Solo sabes cuanto te ame (y te espere)
Prometiste un día volver
Con un beso sobre mi piel (y me encerré)

Sola en mi cuarto (no abriré)
Debo olvidarte (se que podré)
Solo el tiempo puede echarte de mi piel (baby)

Todo lo que pudo ser no será
Dime ¿que puedo hacer si el amor hoy se va?
Nada al parecer te hará regresar
Dime ¿que puedo hacer si el amor hoy se va?
(Hoy se va)

Ya no me haz vuelto a llamar
Y me duele tanto pensar (en tu amor)
Yo puse mi fe en ti
Por confiar todo lo perdí (y me encuentro hoy)

Sola en mi cuarto (no abriré)
Debo olvidarte (se que podré)
Solo el tiempo puede echarte de mi piel (baby)

Todo lo que pudo ser no será
Dime ¿que puedo hacer si el amor hoy se va?
Nada al parecer te hará regresar
Dime ¿que puedo hacer si el amor hoy se va?
(Hoy se va)

y no es tan que borre tus besos
y todo el recuerdo de nuestro gran amor
Como te extraño
Como quisiera volverte a ver

Todo lo que pudo ser no será
Dime ¿que puedo hacer si el amor hoy se va?
Nada al parecer te hará regresar
Dime ¿que puedo hacer si el amor hoy se va?
(Hoy se va)

Todo lo que pudo ser no será
Dime ¿que puedo hacer si el amor hoy se va?
Nada al parecer te hará regresar
Dime ¿que puedo hacer si el amor hoy se va?
(Hoy se va)

Sorrow... grieve…

These are the consequences

Only to prove me right
I heard with bleeding ears
I saw with unseen tears

My heart was breaking
My dream was dying
My body aching
My soul kept crying

I know I could have stop you
I know I could have make you change your mind
But I made my mouth shut
I made my feelings stop

Say no more
Say no more
cry but,
Say no more...

How can I change? I don’t know anymore… another cloud of opportunities just pass by, and I keep stuck to this less than ordinary life. My brain forces me to act the way “I’m supposed to” but my heart kept pounding, screaming, crying, and telling me not to give up so easily. My spirit yelled reminding me of how stupid I can be with shattering words.

For now I know I’m destined to exist inside this dark loneliness, struggling not to let the truth be known. I will keep walking like I have always had, thinking that the armored being was never here, that someday the rescue mortals will come to let me out and freed me from these thick and cold bars.

Addicted to Illustrator!

Been crazy with Photoshop and Illustrator lately, since I have been learning how to work better with them and create my own wallpapers... cool uh? ;0)